My Needs Self Assessment

Before you begin

How this works

For each of the six needs, you will rate two things: how much you currently seek this need from others (your hunger level), and how well you currently meet it for yourself (your self supply level). A large gap between those two numbers is where the work lives.

You will also flag which "hole in the bucket" patterns are active for you, self criticism, self abandonment, catastrophizing, so the final picture shows not just what to fill, but what is currently leaking.

At the end you will see your needs ranked by gap size, plus reflection prompts pulled directly from Gibson's method for your highest gap needs.

Need One of Six

Love & Connection

Related forms: being held, validated, understood, seen, encouraged, physically comforted, given quality presence.

How much do I currently hunger for love and connection from others?

How well do I currently meet this need for myself?

What specific form of love or connection am I most hungry for right now, and from whom?

Need Two of Six

Certainty

Related forms: safety, security, order, structure, control, comfort. Gibson ties this directly to nervous system state, not just circumstances.

How much do I currently hunger for certainty from my circumstances or others?

How well do I currently meet this need for myself, including regulating my nervous system?

When I feel uncertain, is it mostly about real circumstances, or mostly about my nervous system state?

Need Three of Six

Significance

Related forms: mattering, being seen, valued, acknowledged, praised. Highest expression: meaning, purpose, connection to something greater.

How much do I currently hunger for significance from others (being seen, valued, praised)?

How connected do I currently feel to a sense of meaning or purpose in my own right, independent of outside validation?

Where do I already feel a strong sense of meaning or purpose, and does it soften my need for smaller recognition?

Need Four of Six

Uncertainty (Variety)

Related forms: novelty, adventure, freedom, exploration, travel. Often forms as a void from controlled or overprotective environments.

How much do I currently hunger for novelty, freedom, or variety in my life right now?

How well am I currently building small, daily novelty into my life?

What is one small, low stakes new thing I could try this week?

Need Five of Six

Growth

Formula: learning, then application, then observed progress. Learning alone rarely satisfies this need.

How much do I currently hunger for growth or forward movement right now?

How much of my recent learning have I actually applied and observed progress from, rather than just consumed?

What have I learned recently but not yet applied, and what support would help me take the next step?

Need Six of Six

Contribution

Look at what you already give others, helping, healing, teaching, listening, and check whether you give it to yourself in equal measure.

How much do I give to others through helping, healing, or listening right now?

How much of that same helping, healing, or listening do I turn back toward myself?

Of what I give most to others, what would it look like to receive that same thing from myself this week?

Before your results

Where is the bucket leaking

Gibson is clear that filling the bucket does not help much if there is a hole in it. Check any that are currently active for you, honestly, not aspirationally.

I deprioritize my own needs or put myself last

I catastrophize or think in worst case scenarios

I deflect or discount things when they are offered to me (doubt it was genuine, minimize it)

I criticize myself, especially after receiving something good

I am not present with myself, my feelings, or my body day to day

I doubt my own opinions or needs when someone else disagrees

Your results

Your needs profile, ranked by gap

Ranked by the size of the gap between how much you hunger for a need and how well you currently self supply it. The biggest gaps are where your attention matters most right now, not because anything is wrong with you, but because this is where the strategy needs updating.

Mauri Aroha. 🌿